For the
second year in a row, Yoni and I were lucky enough to be invited to Christmas
dinner. Yoni grew up with a Christian grandmother, so he had some experience with
Christmas festivities (supposedly, there are a few pictures of little Yoni with
the tree – would love to see those!). I, on the other hand, had no Christian
friends until I went to college. I did sometimes experience pre- and
post-Christmas at one or another of their houses, but I was never involved in
the actual celebration of the day until last year.
I am,
however, somewhat of an expert in involving non-Jewish friends in Jewish
rituals. More friends of other religious persuasions than I can count have sat
around our Shabbat dinner table, Passover seder table – even joined us in
synagogue. So when I went to my first (and second) Christmas “dinner” (it was
really lunch), I think I subconsciously (or consciously) expected a reverse of
that experience. What do I mean? Yes, there would be food, and fellowship, but
there would also be at least some kind of religious element – rituals, prayers,
discussions that go on for hours before we’re allowed to eat. Something.
Much to
my surprise, that was not the case. While there was a prayer before the meal, I
have NEVER eaten a meal with another chaplain or chaplain spouse where there
was NOT a prayer. And this prayer was in no way tailored to Christmas; it was
of the garden variety, thank-you-for-the-food and fellowship etc. And that was
the sum total of the day’s religious content. We ate “dinner,” relaxed, played
board games, sat around the tree, went home. I don’t know if this is typical of
Christmas celebrations, or if the more overt religious content was removed to
avoid making us uncomfortable, but this experience did reinforce my believe
that non-Jews who participate in Jewish rituals must think we’re crazy.
Maybe the
difference lies in the liturgical/non-liturgical divide. Whatever the reason, I
was grateful both to be included in my friend’s Christmas celebration, and also
to be spared too much celebrating of Christmas.
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